Greeting Norms

Hmong speakers greet each other with the phrase Nyob zoo (Hello). Hmong greetings are usually cordial and based on bloodline and age. Men usually greet by shaking hands, waving, or verbally acknowledging their counterparts. Women, on the other hand, do not traditionally kiss, hug, or shake hands with each other or with men, greeting only verbally or by waving at each other. However, since Hmong people live in countries such as the United States, Laos, Thailand, and China, they have adopted some of the greeting manners of these countries, and nowadays it is more common to see Hmong women kissing or hugging and shaking hands when greeting.

Communication Styles

Hmong communication style tends to be indirect. In Hmong culture, kindness is appreciated, and confrontation is often avoided, so it is important to note that sometimes “yes” or “okay” can mean no. Therefore, the use of open-ended questions is advised. Raising one’s voice is considered disrespectful and it can lead to misunderstandings. The Hmong are very conscious of their actions and emotions and the exhibit of good and polite manners is expected by all Hmong people. Showing disapproval in public, voicing out disagreements, or not being able to control one’s own emotions is seen as impolite and a cause of embarrassment. Additionally, boasting about one’s achievements or asking for praise is considered arrogant.

Personal Space and Touching

Personal space is valued by the Hmong people and it is customary to keep at least a distance of an arm’s length during a conversation. This distance may be shortened among family members and close friends, but it may also be greater when interacting with strangers. Because gender differences are quite accentuated in Hmong culture, men and women should not stand too close to each other while conversing and public displays of affection are likely frowned upon. Additionally, the head is considered the most sacred part of the body, and therefore is not to be touched.

Eye Contact and Gestures

In Hmong culture looking directly into someone’s eyes is considered disrespectful. It is especially disrespectful to make direct eye contact with elders. For this reason, Hmong people tend to look at the floor or at some distant object to avoid eye contact.

Hmong people bow their heads to show respect and they do not wave their hands to call someone. Instead, Hmong people use all fingers, facing down, since using the whole hand with fingers facing upwards demonstrates contempt and can suggest anger.